Am i NOt Fit In?

Damn, i dunno why, these recent days i am not feel happy at all.. I mean, i am happy to get chance to meet my parents, family and friends..but, i feel that i havent done anything rite for my life... I always say that i have no regret in this life so far..but, really..i regret to be back home ..Back to Indonesia after all i have spent the last 5 years overseas. .I mean, u know if happen to stay still in Scotland or Australia, i would have got a good job, a good balance life, friends around me, career, and travel to different parts of the world. But now, here i am stuck in Indonesia.. I wasted my time in Bali for the last 10 months, not knowing what to do and feeling no hope..

I flashed back to what people said when i was still studying in OZ, which said that "we might not fit in when we got back home"..That is so true.. AM i not fit it? i wasnt realise that being not fit in is so depressing...I mean you know, the word "Not fit in" means that you feel that no body understands you, no body gives u courage, and no body cares about u ..And Really for the very FIRST time in my life, I am not knowing what TO DO in life!!!

All my friends probably know, what kinda person i am..I always have a plan for life..even when i am traveling and backpacking, i know what i wanna do and see.. - this might not known by my family.. they really thought that i was just some kinda lost guy - had no hope and passion in life- ...But really, i they made me like this..The whole situation made my like this..

God, really i pray for my visa application.. I really really hope to get that as soon as i can.. I am desperate for that... As soon as i get that, i will pack all my belonging and fly away to OZ.. I know i probably wouldnt have a job that time, and all my family might not stay behind me to support me.. But i believe the whole world is in my hand at that time. .. Gosh, GOd, please make this happen to me !!!